Don't Ask Why

Ask What.

So I came home from PACAA and was given some of the worst news I could imagine receiving. I don't want to go into specifics because I'm not too sure who reads this and not many people have been told yet. But I was devastated. I cried my heart out on the phone with Gill and then Sean called right after I hung up and came over without asking or me telling him to. We sat on the benches that are by the pool and he held me while I cried in disbelief.

One of the first things I said to him was, "I just don't understand why this is happening. She doesn't deserve this, our family has done so much to try and make things better and I just don't know why this would happen when everything was finally starting to get better." Sean answered that with, "You can't ask 'Why?' but 'What?' By asking 'What?' the situation becomes all that much less frustrating and you can start looking in a better direction."

So today I started looking at what I can do. Its helped, too. Even though I don't know exactly what we're going to do, I feel better than I looked into it.

Tonight I'm going to Chestertown with my Mom. Kristen is already down there. I guess I'm going to end this here. I don't really know what else I can say.