Traveling

Kristen told me I need to update so I'm taking a few minutes to do so...

Life has been crazy. This past month has been a rollercoaster for me. I got some really really great news concerning my health at the beginning of the month. Towards the middle there was a lot of excitement with going back to west chester and some sadness in leaving my friends at home. And now, at the end of the month, my life is so hectic!

Hopefully February will go by fast and then March will be here and Sammy and I will be on our way to Cozumel/Beliz! I'm so excited and ready for the biggest trip I've ever been on. I've only been out of the country once, and it was a day trip into Mexico because my Aunt Robin lived right over the border in Texas. So, I feel like this is my first time really leaving the country and I couldn't be happier! One of my biggest fears is dying without seeing enough of the world. I want to see everything. There is so much out there; its beyond my comprehension. This trip will be the beginning of my traveling and hopefully there will be much more to come. Becca and I were talking last night about planning a trip for junior year to backpack across Europe. I would absolutely love to do that. I don't want to stay in four-star hotels or pay to go to all of the well-known tourist attractions. I want to discover and explore on my own. I also don't have the money to be an average tourist but I think it would be more fun to rough it. If I could guarantee one thing that would happen before I die it would be to explore every continent thoroughly. (except maybe Antarctica) but I'd still like to go!

Sorry if this post is boring.. I guess the main reason why I haven't been updating is because I've been writing in my real journal a lot lately. Some of the things I wanted to post about on here I was afraid to because I know people read this and they were really personal. I wish I could be completely open on here but I have no clue who reads this or if it will change their perception of me. And so...the boring posts will continue. :) Maybe someday I'll find something interesting to talk about that is appropriate for cyber-space and for all those weirdos that I don't know who are reading this! haha

Written Horribly But With Heart

My godmother, Marianna, passed away from cancer this past fall. I saw her a week before she went and we talked about old memories. I had to leave the room a few times because I would start to cry and didn't want her to see me like that. I knew that was going to be the last time I saw her. Before I left the room I looked into her eyes and tried so hard to make the goodbye as good as it could possibly be. I've experienced losing people with no chance of saying goodbye, and that has always been the hardest part. But being put in the situation, where I knew it was the final goodbye, may have been harder because you have to walk away from that person who is still alive knowing that the last double take you do will be the last time you will see them, ever.

There was a Christmas present I hadn't opened yet. It was still in the trunk of my mom's car from Christmas and I just brought it in tonight. The gifts were dropped off by my Aunt Lauren to my grandparents house. We opened the box tonight and inside were three boxes and a letter. The letter was from Aunt Lauren saying that Marianna had made these three pieces of jewelry for my mom, Kristen and I. Mine is a necklace with brown and turquiose beads which are my two favorite colors together. Months after I said goodbye to her, months after the funeral, I received a gift from her. It blows my mind. Marianna made beautiful jewelry.

While I felt like my whole life was falling apart and my emotions were running low, a very special angel sent me a gift on the day I needed it most.