With My Arms Out To My Side

Life can be pretty...unexpected? shocking? I'm sort of at a loss for words right now.

The past three weeks have been the best weeks that I've had in the past ten months, at least. I don't know if it always shows on the outside, but I constantly feel happy and excited to be alive. It can mostly be attributed to Sean, who I haven't talked about much on here. I don't think I've ever met another person who has a perspective on life that is so similar to mine and for similar reasons. It didn't take long for me to pick up on that part of him because he communicates so well, another really important thing to me. I could go on but it just comes down to the fact that he makes me so happy. He motivates me to want to go back to West Chester this fall and work my ass off. No one, not even myself, could do that before. Its pretty amazing.

I don't know how to say this because bad things are always harder for me to put into words. We received some bad news that has me really worried. I was told last night and still haven't soaked in the shock. My head is so confused. I'm used to being so content and worry-free now, so its strange to feel such sadness.

I like to look at this as a blessing. If I were in the state I was still in when I left school this past Spring, or even in the beginning of June when I still didn't feel back to myself, I don't think I would be able to look at the bad news with much light. I like to think that if there is such thing as fate, a guardian angel or a higher power, that it was planned to send me these extreme emotions on separate ends of the spectrum because they will balance each other out. Because if nothing bad ever happened, the good things would lose their worth. There cannot be right without wrong, good without bad. Balance is everything.